Dragon's Frenemy (Dragon Blaze Ops Book 2) Page 12

  “Because you are. Now, we need to get some rest. We still don’t know what’s going to happen next and we need to be ready for whatever happens. Go ahead and lie down. I’ll make some food. Do you like eggs?”

  He hurried from her side, and Utopia curled on the bed, watching him. Trying not to think, trying not to worry but unable to stop the worst of possibilities from flashing through her mind. And more than anything, she wished that she could ask Liam to wrap his arms around her… just one more time.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Utopia lay sleeping on the bed, her arms wrapped around a pillow. She looked so vulnerable, so lost and alone and helpless as she slept. Liam wanted to wake her. Wanted to reassure her that he was here, that he was going to help her. That he wasn’t going to let anybody hurt her.

  Unfortunately, it wasn’t entirely true.

  Worry creased his brow as he turned back to the food he was making. He’d kept the amount small, because he knew he’d have a hard time making her eat anything. His hands clenched as he stared down at it, the conversation he’d had with his team before she arrived running through his mind.

  “Even if we get the boy out, we can’t take you and her back to the Academy without our absence arousing suspicion. And if the Alpha finds out where you are in the meantime…” Eugene’s brows pinched together. “You can’t tell her. She has to be surprised. She can’t give anything away if she doesn’t know anything.”

  “She won't—”

  “She will. All the Alpha has to do is threaten her boy, and she’ll spill her guts to him. You know she will.”

  And it was true. As much as Liam hated to think of it, if Aiden’s life were on the line, Utopia would give the Alpha anything he wanted. So as much as he hated lying to her, he had to. This was far more important than to just give her peace of mind. It was also the best way she could get Aiden back safely.

  It sucked. It sucked big time. But that didn’t change that it was the best path forward as far as he could see.

  Liam brought the cup of oatmeal over. It’d been almost twelve hours since the rest of the team had left, and he was certain Utopia would be hungry again. He slipped the GPS tracker into it, and then gently shook her awake.

  “I made you some food,” he told her.

  Utopia sat up and glanced at the door. “Are they back?”

  “No. But here, eat. You need to keep up your strength.”

  “I’m not really hungry.”

  Liam sighed as he sat beside her. “Please. It’s not much. Just eat it. Please.”

  Utopia took the cup. She stared at the oatmeal for a moment, as though she was wishing to find answers to all her problems in it. Then she started to eat. Liam released his breath in a big whoosh, enough that Utopia looked up, startled, but he only smiled and shook his head.

  “Sorry. It’s just good to see you eat.”

  Utopia gave him a confused sort of smile but went back to eating. She finished the oatmeal quickly, scraping the sides of the cup for the last bit. A faint pink blush rose in her cheeks as she glanced shyly up at him.

  “I guess I was hungrier than I thought.”

  “Then it’s a good thing I made you eat, isn’t it?”

  Utopia giggled. “Yeah, I guess it is. And what about you? Have you eaten?”

  “I…”

  Utopia gave him a knowing look and pushed herself up. “You didn’t eat earlier, either. I’ll make you something—"

  “Utopia.” He grasped her wrist. This was the hardest part. The part that was going to destroy him. He hated looking at the trusting look in her eye and knowing that he was going to have to lie to her. This whole situation sucked to the extremes, but this? This was going to kill her. He didn’t know how he was supposed to move on from this one. What he was supposed to do when he told her? He’d been trying for twelve hours to figure out the answer to that question. And there was none. “Utopia… I have heard from the rest of the team.”

  Utopia’s eyes widened. Her cheeks paled as she shook her head. Like she already knew the lie that was about to drop from his lips.

  “They raided the compound where they thought Aiden was being held. But it was empty. Deserted. There wasn’t any evidence that anybody had been there for months—”

  Utopia pressed both her hands over her mouth.

  “They’re still looking. I swear, we’re not going to give up. But right now… we just…”

  “Don’t.”

  Liam flinched. He wanted to reach out to hold her, but as she crumped onto the bed, all he could do was stand there, consumed by his guilt. She started sobbing, her hands pressed over her face. Liam slowly sat beside her and wrapped his arms around her equally slowly. If she didn’t want his touch… but she leaned into him, moving her hands to cling to him.

  He held her as she wept, hating himself, the situation, everything. Was it the best way? Yes. It is. I can’t let myself start doubting now.

  If he changed the plan in any way, it could all go to hell. And then the guilt and pain would be even worse. He had to stick to the plan, as hard as it was.

  Utopia cried for a solid five minutes. Liam hated himself for every second of it.

  When she finally pulled back, wiping her eyes, she shook her head hard and opened her mouth. Her voice seemed to catch in her throat again, but after she drank some water, she was able to talk. Her voice was hoarse, choked, but still there.

  “I know that you’re doing what you can to save him. I know that this isn’t the end of all hope.”

  “No, it’s not.” He held her more tightly, needing her to understand that. “It’s not the end of hope. I promised you I would do whatever it took to get Aiden back and I will. I will. I promise.”

  Even if whatever it takes means lying to you.

  “I know.” Utopia gave him a soggy smile. “I know you’re going to bring him back to me. I know that. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have come back to you.”

  The trust in her eyes stabbed him through the heart. At that moment, everything faltered. All his personal assurances that this was necessary seemed bleak and empty. His breath caught in his chest, and all the air rushed from his lungs. He opened his mouth, going to tell her everything despite every need for her to stay in the dark.

  She saved him from himself, though. She kissed him, deep and passionate.

  What should I do?

  He wanted more than anything for these kisses to continue. Wanted to distract himself from the lies. From everything that could go wrong. His flames reared up, searing through his blood. Demanding release in some way. And his arms wrapped around Utopia’s waist. He needed her. Needed to have her in his arms.

  “Utopia,” he breathed, burying his face into her neck. “If I didn’t… If I don’t get him back—”

  “You will.” Her fingers tangled in his hair. “I know you will.”

  He couldn’t think anymore. If he let himself think, then he was going to tell her everything. The entire plan. And if he did that, he not only would put her in danger, but Aiden, his team, the Academy. There was too much at risk—he had to keep his mouth shut.

  Or at least, occupied with something else.

  His hands roved all over her curvy frame, running over her well-endowed breasts first before he traced the curve of her hip. His fires were still there, hot, sparking. Burning in a way that rarely occurred for him when he was sexually aroused. Utopia slid her hands under his shirt, her cool fingers soothing against his burning skin.

  He kissed her neck, shoulders, everything he could reach. There was a fervor inside of him that he didn’t know how to name or contain. He just knew he needed this. Needed to have Utopia in his arms, even if it was the last time. He wanted her more than he wanted his next breath.

  She responded with the same energy, her mouth fierce on him. Her teeth scraped along his collarbone, and she ripped his shirt open with such ferocity it made him jump. There was no denying the look on her face as she stripped him of his clothes. Liam fell back on the bed, g
asping and naked, as he looked up at her.

  “What do you like?” she demanded.

  “I like—” he choked on the words as she took him in his hand. “I like… I like being on top.”

  Utopia shook her head. “Not this time. So, when you’re on your back, what do you like?”

  Liam thought about arguing with her. He thought about saying that he was always in control, he didn’t let anybody else top him. But she took off her shirt and tossed it aside, followed by her bra, and he didn’t want to argue with her. He lay there as she stroked him, trying to put his muddled thoughts in order.

  Finally, he said, “I like being in my partner’s mouth.”

  “Well. I think I can see to that.”

  Liam watched her as she bent over him. She teased him first—running her fingers gently over him while she kissed down his abdomen. His muscles twitched as he fought to keep himself still. He tightened, seeing himself rise as she moved closer and closer. When she reached the V at his hips, she paused and smiled up at him.

  “This tattoo,” she said, tickling his right bicep. “When did you get it?”

  His tattoo? He glanced at it. “Uh… I guess… Uh… when I first joined up in the military. I wasn’t technically old enough, but they saw my uniform and decided to ignore my ID. It made me feel like quite an adult. I always knew that I was going to be part of the military. When I was a kid, I used to see things… so many times people just stood by when others were hurt. Or they tried to help but just couldn’t…”

  She started to make her way back down him, and Liam had to struggle to keep his breathing even. He wanted to feel her mouth around him. Wanted to know what she could do with her tongue. She took him in her hand again, stroking ever so lightly before she took the tip of him into her mouth.

  Liam’s back arched. He grasped the blankets beneath him, a cry bursting from his lips. Pleasure coursed through him. He knew he had to be in quite a state for it to affect him so deeply, so quickly!

  He let his head fall back, letting go of all thought. All he cared about was Utopia’s touch. And she really did give him a utopia. Everything was so strong, so powerful. The touch of her caress, the feel of her mouth, the look in her eyes when she broke away to smile at him.

  A feeling welled in his chest. A tight, warm feeling. One he didn’t have a name for. As the sensations of sex swept over him, as Utopia straddled him and guided him into her, making him cry out with pleasure again, all he knew was that this was where he was meant to be. With Utopia. To have the taste of her on his lips. To have his hands on her hips as she rocked gently, trying to find her rhythm. To be looking into her eyes, to promise her everything he was and everything he would be.

  “A little faster,” he urged, loving the way her breasts bounced as she moved. Loving the smile on her face, the look of lust in her eyes. He held her tight, helping her find the rhythm and then joining it himself.

  Pleasure washed over him, blinding him to everything except for her. The feeling in his chest grew stronger, spreading out through his whole body. Yes, this was where he was meant to be.

  And neither heaven nor hell would ever move him from his spot at Utopia’s side.

  Chapter Twenty

  Utopia loved the feel of Liam's arms wrapped around her. Even though the worries still pressed against her mind, he was a ward, defending her against fears and the panic that would have caused her to do something stupid, just because she couldn't stand to be doing nothing. As long as she could feel his heart beating, she knew she was going to be okay. That somehow this would all work out.

  As her eyes closed heavily, her mind drifted to the research she had been working on for so long. Guilt twisted in her chest, but for the first time, she was able to see it clearly. For so long, she had been in survival mode. In what was essentially an abusive relationship. Yes, she had done terrible things, things she didn’t think she would ever fully forgive herself for…

  But that didn’t make her a terrible person. She essentially had had a gun at her head the entire time. The experiments, the immorality of it… she hadn’t felt dead inside because she didn’t care for the people. She didn’t have that emotionless exterior because she had no emotions. It was all a survival mechanism.

  “I did what I had to do, in order to survive. In order for my son to survive.”

  Liam sighed the sleepy sigh of someone on the brink of waking up. “Yeah. I know.”

  “I was just telling myself,” Utopia said. “I know it doesn’t make it any better but—”

  “But nobody who wasn’t in your position has any right to judge,” he interrupted. He pulled away from her, the loss of his warmth making her shiver. “And the important thing is what happens next. Maybe there is a way for some good to come out of it.”

  Utopia shrugged. She wasn’t there yet. “If there is, it can’t be from me. I don’t want to have anything to do with medicine or research from here on out. I’ll get a job flipping burgers first. Or maybe go back to the women’s shelter. Do something that actually helps.”

  Liam nodded as he began to dress. “In any case, we’ll figure it out. I’m going to the store across the street to pick up some more food. Do you need anything?”

  A chill stole down Utopia’s spine. “You’re not leaving me here, are you?”

  “I’ll be right back. But the Blaze Ops are going to return soon, and they’re going to need something to eat after their mission failed.”

  The failed mission.

  They failed to get Aiden back.

  Another stab of guilt curled around Utopia’s insides. Aiden was still out there, and with the Blaze Ops going to an abandoned compound, the chances were the Alpha knew they were looking for him. He might eschew technology, but he still used it when it would be useful for his purposes. What would the Alpha do—

  Liam’s hand cupped her face, bringing her back to him. He peered into her eyes, and without a word, she tried to tell him just how close she was to spiraling away. If he wasn’t with her, she’d lose her anchor and then lose herself.

  “I am going to be back,” he whispered.

  Then he kissed her, long and deep, and Utopia felt her fears swirl and settle. He would be back. Then his team would be back. Together, they’d find a way to fix this. They’d make a new plan. They could use her for bait for all she cared. But together, they would get Aiden back. She knew that deep in her bones. Liam wasn’t going to let her down. He’d be with her until the end.

  And the end would be her holding her boy again, safe and sound.

  Liam rested his forehead against hers. There was a tremble in his embrace that she did not expect, and when she looked up at him questioningly, he gave her a small, almost frightened, smile.

  “I think you might be my mate after all,” he whispered.

  Her snow leopard purred in delight, curling its long tail around itself. But Utopia jerked back. A cold feeling spread through her limbs even as her heart warmed. She couldn’t think for a long moment, the two opposite reactions warring with each other. Eventually, she pulled herself out of Liam’s embrace. She shook her head, hard, not daring to look at him.

  No.

  “No.”

  Liam frowned, trying to reach for her, but she fended off his hands. He stopped, looking confused and hurt. “No what?”

  “No. I’m not your mate.” Utopia shook her head again, more emphatically. “I can’t be your mate, Liam. Adrian was my mate. I loved him. He was my whole world while I had him. I don’t know what you’re feeling but it’s not… I already had my mate. I can’t have another one.”

  “I’m not trying to say that Adrian wasn’t you mate, Utopia. But—"

  “There is no ‘but’ here, Liam. Adrian was my mate.”

  “So, you don’t think that maybe it’s possible for a person to have more than one mate?”

  Utopia shook her head. This didn’t even bear thinking about. She wasn’t going to let herself get distracted when her boy was out there. She might have t
aken comfort in Liam’s embrace, but that was all it was. He was a good man, and she could trust him. Trust him to save her son, trust him to give her comfort and distraction.

  That didn’t mean he was her mate.

  Liam ran a hand over his buzzed hair. “I do. I believe that a person can have more than one mate. Polyamory is possible.”

  “So what you’re saying is that if Adrian was still alive, you would still think that I was your mate?” Utopia challenged.

  “Not instead of him,” Liam said slowly. “As well as him. Maybe he’d even be my mate, too. I don’t know. I know that you lost him, and it still hurts you. My parents divorced when I was a child, I took that as meaning that the idea of mates was garbage for the longest time. But you made me—” He cut himself off and pressed his palms to his eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

  “No, you shouldn’t have.”

  Liam dropped his hands. He looked so heartbroken that Utopia almost took back her words. Who was she to say that it was impossible to have more than one mate in life? She knew that there were people out there with their ménage a trois lives. Hell, she’d even heard of up to four men being mated to the same woman. She’d never understood that, though.

  The fact remained, Adrian had been her mate. She couldn’t just get a new one. That would cheapen everything she went through for him. And what did it mean for why Liam was doing what he was doing? Was he helping her because he wanted to help her or because he wanted her as his mate? And when had he decided that? They’d slept together twice, but they barely knew one another! She knew all the reasons why he would be a good mate for her, but what had she done to prove that she could possibly be a good match for him?

  Which could only mean he was saying that for… what reason? To make her stay here? To make sure that she didn’t run off again? To distract her more so she didn’t keep thinking about how the mission to rescue Aiden had failed?

  Why?

  Did he genuinely believe it? And if so, how much was it going to hurt him when he finally figured out that she wasn’t worth this?